How a Godly Man Should Really Love a Woman


By Michal Ortner

Patrick Morley, founder of Man in the Mirror Ministries, shares “5 Ways to Really Love a Woman” in his latest contribution to Charisma News. According to Morley, the biggest problem for men in today’s culture is a marriage that does not please God.

“The correct theology of marriage is based on Ephesians 5:25. ‘Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it,’” he writes in his introduction. “As Christ loved the church” means that we are to love our brides ‘in the same way’ or ‘equal to’ the way Christ loved His bride.”

From there he gives the 5 most practical ways that a man can love his wife from his 40 years of experience.

1.  Pray with Your Wife. Morley shares a story about a group of men who began holding each other accountable when it came to praying with their wives. Over time, they began to see amazing things take place. They felt stronger bonds with their wives and communicated better.

“Ask your wife if you can take some time each day to pray together. Patsy and I always start the day with prayer for one to three minutes, and then we pray again when we’re together for dinner,” he says.

2.  Pray for Your Wife. In his book, “The Marriage Prayer,” Morley shares a prayer that helps transform the way men love and serve their wives.

“Father, I said, ‘Till death do us part’— I want to mean it. 
Help me to love You more than her,
and her more than anyone or anything else.
Help me bring her into Your presence today.
Make us one, like You are three-in-one.
I want to hear her, cherish her, and serve her
So she would love You more and
we can bring You glory. Amen.”

3.  Spend Time Alone with Her. The way we spend our time truly reflects our interests. At first, it may need to be a scheduled date and later transition into more natural time spent with one another.

4.  Listen to her deeply without giving an overly quick reply. Marriages typically begin to fail because of a lack of communication. “We attach high value to our mates when we listen sincerely and patiently to each other. Listening deeply requires that we don’t respond too quickly, don’t criticize, and don’t give advice unless the other person asks for it,” Morley shares.

5.  Touch Her. Make it a point to hug, squeeze, embrace, pat, hold hands, and sit close. Physical touch in regular settings leads to more private intimacy. “Touching her is like recharging her battery,” Morley concludes.