How Will The Church Respond To Polyamory?

By Victor Ochieng

Many people look up to the church to provide direction in different situations. To those of us who understand the “church” well, we know that some are very quick to embrace new opinions and theological arguments even when such are going against Bible principles. We’ve seen it with same-s*x marriage and transgenderism.

Now we have polyamory; what’s the church going to say about it?

Chuck and his wife took to Facebook and made a shocking announcement about their marriage. They said they were opening up to other relationships while also leaving their marriage intact.

C. Daniel Montley knew the couple. They were just like any normal monogamous partners. However, something deeper was running in their relationship. They had the desire not to lock their relationship just to the two of them. They were opening it up, not through other secret affairs, but by openly having such relationships.

When they brought this up on social media, they received praises, with many users saying they’re courageous and brave. Even though some people tried to criticize the decision, such critics were overshadowed by the high number of users who came out to strongly support Chuck and his wife, terming the critics as “bigoted” and “judgmental.”

Montley was shocked, not because Chuck and his wife opened up about polyamory, but because Chuck brought a scriptural and theological argument in support of their decision. There have been apologists for s*exual relationships outside marriage, but justifying a polyamorous relationship using Trinitarian principle and Jesus’ charity ethic is quite a disgusting development and a sinister way to twist the guiding principles of Christian s*xual ethics.

Franklin Veaux, who popularized polyamory lifestyle, upholds the principle of More Than Two, and he explains that a polyamorous relationship is “a romantic relationship where the people in the relationship agree that it’s okay for everyone to be open to or have other romantic partners.”

Psychologists and social scientists talk about different types of polyamorous relationships, including swinging, where partners are allowed to seek relationships outside marriage for nothing more than casual s*x; polygamy, involving marriage of more than one spouse; and polyfidelity, where more than two partners in a relationship agree not to form any relationship outside the existing group. For non-Christians, there is nothing more to worry about as long as there is consent from the partners in the poly-type relationship.

The sad development is the “Christian” polyamor, where the proponents base their arguments on consent, but also use some misreadings of the scripture and creative theological interpretations to mislead their followers. Jennifer Martin, when sharing about how she came to discover Christian polyamor, says she got “married young, felt trapped by the conservative bounds of purity culture, and wanted to explore the s*xuality that we never really got a chance to have.” To be able to achieve this, she opted to have a boyfriend without divorcing her husband of nine years, the father of her two children.

It’s because the scriptures clearly don’t approve of polyamory that you see several people trying to justify it by simply twisting the same scriptures. With more progressive and post modern evangelicals embracing polyamory, you shouldn’t be surprised seeing more Christians, including Christian leaders, opening up about their extramarital relationships in the name of consent.

Who’s that Christian who’s going to stand up for the Bible?