When Reverend Pastor Patrick Dennis stood in the pulpit on Sunday mornings and preached from the gospel, he did it knowing that the very words he spoke condemned him. Yet, Sunday after Sunday he got up there and shared the Bible with a congregation that not only knew his sin, but sometimes participated in it.
Patrick Dennis is the leader of a church in Shreveport, Louisiana.
According to The Old Black Church, Dennis is married and pretends to be quite happy with his wife Natasha. In truth, however, they have been living apart—their marriage having been ripped apart by s*xual sin.
Pastor Dennis had been having sex with members of his congregation, once even with a mother and her daughter. When the daughter got pregnant, the church deacons said that Dennis paid for her to have an abortion. Dennis continued with his philandering and got another member’s wife pregnant as well. Dennis admits to cheating on his wife over 20 times during their 10 year marriage.
After moving out of the house, Dennis’ wife had an affair of her own. Instead of being the head of his house and protecting his wife and children, Dennis allowed his home to crumble.
The scripture says in 1 Timothy chapter 3 that “a man that cannot keep his own house in order is not to be a leader of the church.” While nobody expects a pastor to be perfect, the Bible is clear that you cannot continue to live in sin.
This story is told during an episode of Iyanla’s “Fix My Life”. During the episode, Natasha has called for help, and when Iyanla gets there, she confronts Natasha with what appears to be a standard question: are you all right? Natasha responds that she is, but is met with the wise counter, “Is that true, are you ok?” And then the sage follows on, “Do you get that it’s okay if you’re not okay? Because sometimes, as black women, we make ourselves okay with stuff that just ain’t okay.”
The problem is that it is not just black women, it is society – and even the church – that is becoming okay with things that “just ain’t okay.” At what point do we stand up and say, “Enough?” We are so afraid of being called “judgmental” if we call sin, sin.
Jesus told us to take the plank out of our own eye before removing the speck from our brother’s eye; he did not tell us to ignore our brother’s speck. He simply said, “Check yourself, first.”
I love the idea that Iyanla is restorative. She is not afraid to confront sin and call it what it is, but she does it with the intent of fixing and restoring and not tearing down people. Isn’t that what Jesus did on the cross, and isn’t that what we have been called to do for each other?
Looking the other way doesn’t do you any good, and it does not help the one who is drowning in their sin, either. Or, to put it another way, let’s stop being okay with things that just “ain’t” okay!
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