Is it Wise to Marry a Preacher?


By Robert Stitt

The Bible is quite clear, the believer should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Should that unequal yoking apply to other areas of life? Perhaps to career choices? Should someone who is not in the pastoral field wed a pastor? While this would certainly be a contortion of the scripture, there could still be some wisdom here. When couples do not see eye-to-eye on critical areas of marriage, such as career duties, it can create stress and resentment.

Many women seeking a Godly man believe that marrying a pastor is a good catch. Sadly, many of these women do not think through what the role of a pastor entails, leading to unforeseen burdens within a marriage which would seem ideal to a woman of faith.

Charisma News offers some advice about things pastors should ensure prospective mates know about their profession, and things that women should consider before marrying a preacher.

A preacher lives with his work 24 hours-a-day, 365 days a year. When your boss is omnipresent and your clientele includes everyone on earth, there just isn’t a time when a pastor is not “on call.”

Pastors live by faith. When the Lord leads, they follow and it may not always make sense. You may be giving things away, taking people in, going places you didn’t think you’d be going, etc.

God is number one and other people are often on the pastor’s mind. If you want to be the “one and only”, this man is not for you.

Unless you marry into a megachurch or “pastoral royalty” you many not be living as materially well as others. Of course, if you are marrying into a megachurch or royalty you will have other issues to deal with.

The pastor serves God, but the church board often calls the shots. Not every board is evil, selfish, or contrary, and not every pastor lives under their thumb, but the pastor’s relationship with a controlling board is something to consider.

So, when do you marry a preacher?

You share the call. If you share the call of God with the preacher and need to be a part of the ministry then there is no greater relationship. Serving God’s people hand-in-hand with your soulmate, what could be better? You won’t worry about the time he’s gone, because you are serving with him. You won’t worry about the pay, because you, too, are living by faith. You won’t worry about the board, because you stand together.

You are a person of prayer and have been told this is the one. A person who does not pray should not be marrying a pastor. And a person that prays should listen to God’s voice before marrying. If you are a woman of prayer and have heard God’s voice, marry away. The pastoral ministry is going to need that prayer, and both your ministries will be stronger because of it.

You love the Lord and His people. If God and His people are number one in your life and you want to do more for them, being a pastor’s wife is sure one way to go. You will certainly have every opportunity to minister to those in need and share your gifts with the congregation and the community.

There are a million rewards for being married to a preacher. Most of them are not to be found on this earth. If God call’s you to marry one, God bless you, and if not, have the courage to tell him so.